29th December 2019,
It was past 7am when the alarm went off. As usual, I snoozed the alarm for 10 minutes before I woke up. It was one of those days when I felt like writing something as soon as I woke up. On the suggestion of a dear friend, I made it a practice recently to pen down my thoughts; preferably early in the morning when I wake up. Hence, I quickly pulled out a book from the back sleeve of my backpack to write down the thoughts that are floating in my mind. But, before I could do that, I noticed many calls and message notifications on my mobile from many close to me and quickly unlocked my mobile to check if there was something urgent they had to convey and I missed their call.
My new venture into the food industry leaves me with very little time daily due to 15+ hours of schedule in a day. It’s been ages since I had a good long conversation with my family or friends. All that I hardly do after I get back home is to freshen up and sleep. So somehow, I missed checking the calls and messages the day before and thought of attending to them before I get into my daily schedule.
My heart filled with rage and pain by the time I finished checking all the messages. I was unaware of the heinous act committed by a few men the other day in my city. All those messages I received from the ones close to me were filled with concern regarding my safety as I tend to get home at late hours almost daily and some of the messages were the news articles that covered the incident. My heart ached for the victim, and I couldn’t possibly come to my senses nor probably understand why humans would degrade and drag themselves to a stage where it would be a shame to even call them beasts! They are defiled monsters covered in human skin.
Even today, women think twice about travelling late at night. Not only women, but her whole family will also always be concerned about her safety when her job/work demands her to stretch out her schedule and work at odd hours. Till date, my mom and dad keep calling me in between once I start from my counter late at night just to check if I am ok or not. Do men in our society have the same thoughts when they go out late at night? I am sure that the effect is not as much.
Whenever I get to know about such monstrous acts, my thoughts instantly take me to a flashback, and I am reminded of whatever I went through in my childhood. It is like enduring the trauma over and over again. It’s been 20years since I faced the loathing horror of my life and to know about such horrendous acts makes me feel like there isn’t even a strand of change from then to now. No matter which century we live in or how advanced we become as a civilization; there are always a set of people who are ready to spread their petty gyaan about ‘how a women/girl should or shouldn’t be.’ It has become quite common now more than ever.
“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.“F. Scott Fitzgerald
As I write about it now, I am reminded of a quote I saw sometime back;
“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.”Santosh Kalwar
I am a firm believer of the concept, ‘the change is only external; our core self always remains the same.’ Somehow, all these incidents make me feel like unless until the core thinking of every individual evolves against these atrocious and monstrous acts, we cannot progress as a nation.
If I could give one gift to all those who are living in a bubble and are always upfront to blame the victim, that would be ‘Compassionate Empathy’.
It is indeed a gift to place oneself in other’s position and understand what a person is going through, feel the pain, try and help in any way possible. Though one cannot wholly ease their pain; by just being sensitive to their pain and suffering, one can at least not make the trauma worse. Expressing too much logical reasoning and over-emotional factors can push a person deep into an emotional loop which they might be facing then.
“Empathetic presence involves listening to someone’s pain with what I call the five A’s: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.”David Richo
Through this post, I want to reach out to all those who have suffered the worst and would like to reach out to them and let them know that they are not alone in this fight. Most importantly, I would feel the most satisfied if I can reach out to even a single individual and help him/her give a second thought before criticizing or judging the victims of such cruel crimes.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this!
I received this tag from Reema D’Souza at The Write World. It’s my pleasure to pass on this tag to Shalzmojo at Shalzmojo blog. There are 25 of us on this Blog Hop and it will be spread over 3 days – 6, 7 & 8th of December 2019. Do follow the #WordsMatter Blog Hop and prepare to be surprised!
Thats all for today folks. I sign off with a hope to see you soon!